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Thyroid Surgery New Jersey

PREVIOUSLY ONltigt THE REAL HOUSEWIVESltigt ltigt OF ORANGE COUNTY.ltigt I GOT AN EMAIL FROM ROBIN ANTIN. SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A REALLY GOOD IDEA IF YOU WOULD CONSIDER DANCING AND SINGING AT THEIR NEW PUSSYCAT DOLL SALOON IN VEGAS. YAY! ME AND A COUPLE OF MY GIRLFRIENDS ARE OPENING A RESTAURANT. THERE’S NO GOOD RESTAURANTS IN ORANGE COUNTY. THERE’S NOTHING AND YOU’RE PICKY. YOU HAVE TO GO TO L.A. SO WE WANT TO OPEN A RESTAURANT. WE’RE GONNA MAKE A LITTLE OPENING.

SO THOSE SINUSES WILL DRAIN MUCH BETTER. GOD, WE JUST KNEEL BEFORE YOU RIGHT NOW AND WE PRAY THAT YOU PROTECT ALEXIS. LET’S GET A GOOD RESULT, IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. I’VE NEVER TALKED ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK. THE WAY THAT YOU LOOK IS DIFFERENT THAN CALLING SOMEONE A DEADBEAT DAD ARE YOU bleep KIDDING ME YOU’RE NOT A MOTHER! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT’S LIKE! OH, REALLY YOU ARE A PIECE OF bleep. WHAT GIVES HER THAT bleep RIGHT! THIS IS THE FIRST THING THAT, LIKE, ACTUALLY SCARES ME.

BRIANA IS GONNA HAVE HER THYROID TAKEN OUT. I’M GONNA THROW UP. PROGNOSIS RIGHT NOW IS NOT GOOD FOR BRIANA. THERE’S A STRONG CHANCE SHE DOES HAVE CANCER. WHOO! I CALL THE SHOTS IN MY LIFE NOW. AND I HAVE GOOD AIM. MY TANK IS FULL AND I’M DRIVING INTO MY FUTURE. YAHOO! I THANK GOD EVERY DAY FOR MY LIFE. AND YOU WOULD TOO. I MAY BE MARRIED TO A PLASTIC SURGEON, BUT I’M 98 REAL. DON’T CALL ME A PRINCESS. CALL ME THE BOSS.

The Real Housewives of Orange County Under the Knife

OKAY, COME ON BACK, TAMRA. OKAY. HOW’S EVERYTHING IT’S GOOD. EVERYTHING’S GOOD. NO COMPLAINTS. I’M GONNA BRING YOU IN HERE FIRST. DR. AMBE IS GONNA TALK TO YOU. OKAY. HE’LL BE RIGHT IN. HEY. HEY. HOW ARE YOU I’M GOOD, I’M GOOD. NICE TO SEE YOU. HOW’S EVERYTHING GOING GOOD. LIFE IS GOOD. GOOD, SO WHAT BRINGS YOU IN chuckles I’M BACK. UM, I THINK I WANNA HAVE MY IMPLANTS REMOVED COMPLETELY. JUST COMPLETELY JUST COMPLETELY.

HAVING MY BREAST IMPLANTS REMOVED IS SOMETHING THAT I’VE BEEN WANTING TO DO FOR A LONG TIME. I FEEL LIKE THEY’RE HEAVY, THEY’RE HARD TO WORK OUT WITH, AND I’M IN A PLACE IN MY LIFE NOW THAT I DON’T NEED THESE BIG BREASTS TO DEFINE WHO I AM. YOU KNOW, IN MY 40s, I JUST WANNA BE MORE NATURAL. WHAT SIZE ARE YOU COMFORTABLE GOING TO, I MEAN, IN CUP SIZE HONESTLY I WILL GO AS SMALL AS I CAN. MEANING, IF YOU CAN GET A PERKY LOOK AND A NICE SHAPE.

IN A B WITH A BCUP I WOULD DO IT IN AN A. BUT I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT AN A IS. THAT’S PRETTY FLAT, ISN’T IT I MEAN, YOU I THINK WE CAN GET YOU INTO A B. AFTER EVERYTHING I’VE GONE THROUGH, LIKE, WHATEVER I DO IS MY DECISION NOW. LIKE, YOU KNOW I WANTED TO GET THEM SMALLER AND I WAS KIND OF INFLUENCED NOT TO. SO THIS TIME, I WANNA DO WHAT I WANNA DO. I HAD BREAST IMPLANTS WHEN I WAS WITH SIMON AND AT THAT TIME,.

I KINDA WANTED TO GET RID OF THEM, BUT WAS AFRAID. I FEEL LIKE THEY’RE WAY TOO BIG FOR MY BODY. I DON’T WANT SOMEONE WITH MOSQUITO BITES. I WANNA BE MY OWN PERSON. I WANNA BE ABLE TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS AND I DON’T WANT ANYBODY TO INFLUENCE ME WHATSOEVER. IN ORANGE COUNTY, HAVING BIG BOOBS IS POWER. AND I’M NOT AN INSECURE WOMAN ANYMORE, SO I NO LONGER NEED MY BOOBS FOR MY POWER. I’M USING MY MIND. ALL RIGHT, WELL, LET’S DO THIS. LET’S GET YOU INTO AN EXAM ROOM.

AND THEN, UM, WE’LL GO FROM THERE. OKAY. OKAY. SOUNDS GOOD. I DON’T THINK I’M GONNA MISS ANYTHING ABOUT HAVING BIG BOOBS. THEY WERE HEAVY, THEY WERE HARD TO FIT IN CLOTHES. BATHING SUITS WERE ALWAYS A STRUGGLE. EVEN TO FIND A BRA THAT FIT PROPERLY IS NOT EASY. DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT NO NONE THAT I CAN THINK OF. OKAY, YOUR PREFERENCE IS TO BE ABLE TO JUST DO AN EXPLANTATION, WHICH IS REMOVING THE IMPLANTS AND A LIFT.

AND IF WE CAN GET A NICE ENOUGH SHAPE, PERKY ENOUGH, THAT HAS ENOUGH FULLNESS, WITHOUT AN IMPLANT, THAT WOULD BE YOUR PREFERENCE. YES. ALL RIGHT. LET’S GO AHEAD AND EXAMINE YOU. I’M GONNA CHECK TO SEE IF YOU HAVE ANY FIRMNESS, WHICH YOU DON’T. AND WHAT I’M ALSO GONNA DO IS JUST TRY TO DETERMINE HOW MUCH BREAST TISSUE YOU HAVE OF YOUR OWN OVER THE IMPLANT. YOU HAVE A PRETTY GOOD AMOUNT. MMHMM. YOU DO. I MEAN, I THINK THAT SINCE WE LAST DID THE OPERATION, DEFINITELY, YOU’VE.

YOU CREATE MORE BREAST TISSUE. THEY GREW BACK. YEAH. IT’S JUST CRAZY. LIKE, THESE THINGS KEEP GROWING. LUCKY ME. GUESS IT’S BETTER THAN MY ASS. PERSONALLY, BASED ON MY EXPERIENCE AND HOW MANY WOMEN I’VE DONE THIS TO WHO HAVE THIS MUCH BREAST TISSUE AND THE SHAPE AND THE QUALITY OF THE BREAST TISSUE THAT WANNA GO TO THAT CUP SIZE, UM, I THINK YOU CAN DO IT WITHOUT AN IMPLANT. OKAY OKAY. THIRD SET OF BOOBS, THIRD MAN, THIRD TIME’S A CHARM. I HAVE A QUESTION. YEAH.

WITH THE SKIN YOU REMOVE, CAN YOU DO A SKIN GRAFT ON MY TATTOO chuckles NO. BOOB TISSUE ON YOUR FINGER laughs SHE’S KIDDING. OH, THAT’S A GOOD ONE. THAT’D BE A FIRST. PERFECT. YOUR LAST WORDS BEFORE AN HOUR GOES BY AND YOU START YELLING AT ALL OF US I KNOW, RIGHT YOU READY ALL RIGHT, I’M GONNA GIVE YOU A LITTLE OXYGEN HERE, OKAY IT REALLY HURTS MY FEELINGS THAT EVERYBODY THINKS THIS SURGERY IS ALL FOR COSMETIC REASONS.

IT’S GONNA GO SMOOTH. WHY WOULD I GO THROUGH THIS EXTENSIVE OF A SURGERY JUST TO HAVE THE BUMP TAKEN OUT OF MY NOSE HER LEFT SIDE IS TOTALLY OBSTRUCTED, AIRWAYWISE. SHE’S REALLY BLOCKED. I CAN BARELY, UH, PUT A QTIP IN THERE. OKAY. SINCE I WAS GETTING THE BUMP TAKEN OUT, PART OF ME FELT LIKE IT WAS FOR VANITY AND I SHOULDN’T EVEN BE THERE. THIS IS WHAT’S CAUSING PART OF HER BREATHING PROBLEM. AND SO THAT’S HER SEPTUM. AND THE OTHER PART OF ME WAS LIKE, DO I WANNA LIVE THE REST.

OF MY LIFE MISERABLE AND ON ANTIBIOTICS AND NOT BREATHING FOR FOUR MONTHS OR FIVE MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR OR DO I WANNA BUCK UP AND DO THIS THING YEAH, SEE, NOW THAT OPENS THAT UP QUITE A BIT, BUT IT’S STILL A LITTLE CROOKED HERE. AND THIS IS WHAT SHE’S BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT GOING INTO HER THROAT. THAT’S WHY SHE’S BEEN MISERABLE, ON HER HEADACHES AND SINUSES. tool suction noise LOOK AT THAT. both OOH. NICE. NEVER SEEN THAT. NOW THAT’S PRTHAT’S THE WORST I’VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME. ME TOO.

OKAY. NOW WE’RE GONNA GET INTO THE COSMETIC PART. BREAKING THE NOSE NOW. nose cracks suction noise POOR ALEXIS. chuckles SHE’S GONNA BE SORE. chuckles TAKE A DEEP BREATH, ALEXIS. OKAY, IT’S GONNA BE COLD. MISERABLE OR FAIR MISERABLE. MISERABLE OKAY. groans GUESS WHO’S HERE. YOUR HUBBY. YAY. HI, BABE. HEY. SHE’S DOING GREAT. EVERYTHING WENTWAIT TILL YOU SEE THE PICTURES OF THAT. HOW YOU DOING, BABES sighs GET ALL THIS OFF MY FACE. YOUR FACE IS COVERED.

GET IT ALL OFF. CAN’T TAKE IT OFF YET, BABE. groans I KNOW I’M COMPLETELY BLACK AND BLUE AND I KNOW MY EYES ARE SWOLLEN SHUT. I DON’T FEEL WELL AND ALL I KEEP THINKING ABOUT IS THE GOAL AT THE END, AND THAT IS TO GET THROUGH THIS. AND I JUST HAVE TO KEEP MY MIND ON THAT. OKAY, OPEN UP REAL WIDE, ALEXIS. OPEN UP WIDE. STICK OUT YOUR TONGUE. DRY, DRY, DRY. ALL RIGHT, LET’S GET HER IN THIS WHEELCHAIR. SCOOCH BACKWARDS, THERE YOU GO.

BACK UP. DO YOU FEEL THAT AT THE BACK OF YOUR LEGS THERE SIT DOWN NOW. OKAY. groans YOU WANNA SEE A MIRROR groans chuckles ALL RIGHT, LET’S GET YOU GOING. groans HI, HONEY. HI. HOW’S SHE DOING WELL, THE DOCTOR JUST CAME OUT. crying TOLD ME THAT SHE HAD NUMEROUS NODULES AND THE WORST THYROID HE’D SEEN AND HE THINKS IT MIGHT BE CANCER. HE SAID IT DOESN’T LOOK GOOD. BRIANA’S THYROID WAS VERY ENLARGED AND IT WASN’T A NORMALLOOKING COLOR.

IT WAS MULTINODULAR. I ASKED HIM HOW MANY NODULES AND HE SAID, TOO MANY TO COUNT. JUST HAVE TO KEEP YOUR HOPES UP AND.HOPE IT’S NOT CANCER. THEY TOOK ALL THEALL HER NODULES OUT, HER THYROID, HER LYMPH NODES, BUT HE SAID SHE’S NOT A HYPOCHONDRIAC. REMEMBER WE WERE SEEINGLIKE, SHE’S IMAGINING SHE’S TIRED AND ALL THE THINGS THAT SHE’S BEEN EXPERIENCING AND IT’S LIKE I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE FUNCTIONED FOR ALL THIS TIME, SO. SHE’S JUST WAKING UP, SO DO YOU WANNA GO SEE HER IN RECOVERY.

YEAH. OKAY, LET’S GO. WE TOOK OUT ALL OF HER, UM, LYMPH NODES IN HER NECK, AND HE SAID HE WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED IF IT DIDN’T COME BACK CANCEROUS. COMING UP ON ltigt THE REAL HOUSEWIVESltigt ltigt OF ORANGE COUNTY.ltigt I’M AFRAID THAT IT’S GONNA BE REALLY HARD TO LEARN ALL THIS, BECAUSE WE’RE NOT GONNA HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO, LIKE, LEARN IT. I’M PRETTY SURE I’M GONNA KILL SLADE FOR THIS. COME ON, I WANNA GET EVERYONE’S FOOD READY. SO YOU HAVE TWO SECONDS TO FINISH.

MOMMY, DO WE HAVE CHINESE FOOD NO, WE DON’T HAVE CHINESE FOOD. NO, HONEY, YOU’RE GONNA LIKE THIS. THIS IS REALLY GOOD. I GOT YOU AN ARTICHOKE. I DON’T WANT TO EAT THAT. IT’S CHICKEN. DO YOU WANT A DRDO YOU WANT A CHICKEN LEG AND LOOK, I’VE ADD SPARK WHERE’S THE ORANGE JUICE I HAVE IT. AND I HAVE SPARKLING APPLE CIDER. I AM AN ACTRESS, BUT I’VE BEEN ON RADICAL SABBATICAL FOR THE LAST FEW YEARS BECAUSE I HAVE FOUR CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF SEVEN.

WHERE ARE YOU GUYS SITTING WHY CAN’T I GET MORE BUBBLES MAX, I DON’T CAN I PLEASE HAVE MORE BUBBLES IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY. I CAN’T DETERMINE EH, GET YOUR FEET OFF THE TABLE. SWITCHING, I THINK, FROM ANY CAREER TO BECOMING MOM IS AN UNBELIEVABLY CRAZY SWITCH. WHERE’S DADDY HE’S ATI DON’T KNOW. DADDY DADDY, DO THIS WITH ME. I GOTTA GET COLLETTE. HEY, SWEETS, I’M GONNA BRING THE BABY DOWNSTAIRS. CAN YOU HOLD HER WHILE I PLATE THE FOOD YEAH. OKAY.

IT IS SO MUCH HARDER TO BE AT HOME THAN IT IS TO WORK. WHEN ARE WE GONNA EAT I’M HUNGRY. WHERE’S MAMA ME TOO. I’M HUNGRY. YELL FOR MAMA. MOM! MOMMY! LOOK WHO I HAVE. BABY, COLLETTEY. highpitched COME TO DADA. baby talk gibberish CAREFUL, SHE THREW UP EARLIER. YOU THREW UP DON’T THROW UP ON DADDY. SORRY. TERRY, THANK YOU FOR BRINGING DINNER HOME. YOU’RE WELCOME. I APPRECIATE THAT. I DID ORDER IT. OH, MY GOD.

SO THERE’S SOMETHING. MOMMY ORDERED THE FOOD. MY GOD. I DON’T REALLY COOK, PER SE. I MEAN, I DO PREPARE FOOD, BUT I WOULD NEVER EVER CALL MYSELF A COOK. I THINK IN MY FAMILY IT ACTUALLY SKIPS A GENERATION. HONEY, WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY UH, DONNIE AND I WENT TO GO LOOK AT A SPACE WITH JOHN. FOR THE RESTAURANT YEAH. YOU KNOW, IT’S A GOOD I LIKE LIDO VILLAGE, IT’S GOOD. THERE’S A LOT OF FOOT TRAFFIC OVER THERE. THAT WOULDN’T BE A BAD SPOT.

ARE THERE ANY SUCCESSFUL RESTAURANTS IN LIDO VILLAGE WELL, THAT’S THE ONLY THING. I CAME FROM NEW YORK. I’M A FOODIE. I LIKE TO EAT. I LIKE NIGHTLIFE. I LIKE TO GO OUT AND WE’RE REALLY LACKING SOME GREAT RESTAURANTS HERE IN ORANGE COUNTY. SO MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE DECIDED WE ARE OPENING OUR OWN. I’D LIKE TO BRING A LITTLE BIT OF NEW YORK INFLUENCE TO THE O.C. IF MOMMY OPENS A RESTAURANT WITH HER FRIENDS, WHAT KIND OF FOOD SHOULD THEY SERVE OH, OH, OH, OH! MAX.

CORNBREAD. CORNBREAD. NO, PASTA, PASTA! NICKY MAC AND CHEESE! ROASTED MAC AND CHEESE. ROASTED CHICKEN. ROASTED CHICKEN. ROASTED BEEF! BUT THAT’S THIS RESTAURANT. I’VE NEVER OWNED A RESTAURANT. I’VE WORKED IN A RESTAURANT ONCE AS A HOSTESS. THAT WASN’T REALLY A GOOD GIG FOR ME. I’M SURE IT’S CRAZY HARD TO OPEN A RESTAURANT, BUT IT’S JUST A FUN PET PROJECT FOR US. AND HOW WAS THE SPACE I DON’T THINK WE WERE JUMPING OUT OF OUR CHAIRS.

MOM, CAN I HAVE DESSERT NO, NOT RIGHT NOW. PLEASE NICK, NOT RIGHT NOW. PLEASE IF YOU ASK ME AGAIN, THE ANSWER’S GONNA BE NO. IF YOU CAN FIND A VIABLE SPOT, WE ALL KNOW IT’S GONNA COST 650 TO A MILLION TO START THE THING. WE CAN GET INVESTORS. AND IF IT FAILS AFTER TWO YEARS, WHATEVER. SINCE I AM NOT ACTING RIGHT NOW, OPENING UP A RESTAURANT IS A REALLY GREAT WAY TO KEEP MY CREATIVITY AND BE IN THE BUSINESS WORLD AND, YOU KNOW,.

GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE WILL KEEP ME FROM GOING TOTALLY BONKERS. THAT WAS GOOD. WHAT THAT WAS YUMMY. WHEN YOU COOK, YOU COOK REALLY WELL. THANKS. YOU COOK GREAT RESERVATIONS. laughs annoyed laugh MOM, CAN I HAVE DESSERT NO. BETTER LEARN HOW TO DANCE IN THOSE HEELS. I KNOW. WALK IN THEM HEELS. ARTIST ENTRANCE. WELL, I HEAR THEM. HI. I HEAR THE HEELS. I’M LIKE, I HEAR THEM..

HOW ARE YOU GOOD, HOW ARE YOU GOOD TO SEE YOU. OH, HI. HI. THANKS FOR COMING. TEAM SLADE, HUH TEAM SLADE. WE NEED A TEAM PUSSYCAT. YEAH. I COULD MAKE SHIRTS FOR YOU. AND YOU’RE PART OF THAT TEAM NOW. I KNOW. YAY. I’M EXCITED. PUSSYCAT DOLLS IS A WORLDRENOWNED MUSICAL GROUP AND TRYING TO FOLLOW IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF FERGIE OR PINK OR CHRISTINA AGUILERA, YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. THIS WILL BE GOOD FOR ME TONIGHT, I FEEL LIKE.

SHE WAS NERVOUS. I KNOW, I KNOW THAT. WELL, I’M NERVOUS BECAUSE HERE’S THE THING I REALLY KIND OF WANT TO GET AN IDEA OF WHAT YOUR EXPECTATIONS ARE, WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE DOING BEFOREHAND BECAUSE I WANNA DO IT RIGHT. I WANNA REPRESENT YOU GUYS IN THE BEST WAY THAT I CAN. AND I WILL WORK DAY AND NIGHT, AND I AM A HARD WORKER. I KNOW I WON’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT. AND I’M NOT GONNA LIE, LIKE, THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF GOING OUT.

AND SINGING AND DANCING IN FRONT OF A WHOLE AUDIENCE YEAH. THOSE ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS. THEY ARE. AND NOW, THIS ISN’T, LIKE, OKAY, JUST A DIVE BAR. I ONLY HAVE ONE OPPORTUNITY TO REALLY KNOCK IT OUT OF THE PARK PERFORMING WITH THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS IN VEGAS. I SERIOUSLY MIGHT CRAP MY PANTS. THIS IS FOR REAL. LIKE. YOU’RE IN A FOR REAL VENUE. REAL DEAL. VEGAS, THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE. YEAH. AND, LIKE, I DON’T WANNA BLOW IT. IT’S ALL ABOUT PRACTICE, SO WHATEVER WE GIVE YOU.

IT’S ABOUT GOING HOME, AND IT’S ABOUT PRACTICING, CONSTANTLY HAVING IT IN YOUR BRAIN, YOU KNOW SO WE EXPECT THAT. WHEN YOU SEE OUR DRESS REHEARSAL, YOU’RE GONNA SEE HOW THESE GIRLS I MEAN, THEY HAVE WORKED SO HARD. WE WORK THEM TO THE BONE. THIS IS A HUGE OPPORTUNITY FOR ME. BUT MY SINGING VOICE IS MESSED UP FROM YELLING AT VICKI AT THE BUNCO PARTY. THEN WHY ARE YOU DATING BROOKS I’M NOTKEEP WHY ARE YOU DATING BROOKS HE’S ALL CAUGHT UP! REALLY HE WENT TO JAIL FOR IT, VICKI.

I AM SERIOUSLY PRAYING TO GOD THAT MY VOICE RETURNS AND THAT I’M OKAY. BECAUSE THE GIRLS ARE IN VEGAS, AM I EVER GONNA HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO BE PRACTICING WITH THEM OR NOT REALLY YEAH, YOU WILL. CLOSER TO THE SHOW. EXACTLY. OKAY. WE’LL GO TO VEGAS. WE’LL GO TO VEGAS. AND YOU’LL GET HALF A DAY OR SOMETHING. YEAH, WE HAVE TO FIND WHATWHAT YOUR ABILITY IS, AND THEN WE HAVE TO WORK WITH THAT. RIGHT. WE’RE GOOD WITH.

YEAH. YOU KNOW, HEARING TRUST ME, WE TELL THEM ALL HOW TO SING. EXACTLY. YOU SHOULD HEAR US. BUT I DON’T THINK YOU CAN FAKE STAGE PRESENCE. THEY CAN’T TEACH YOU THAT PRESENCE ON STAGE. THAT EQUALS CONFIDENCE. IT EQUALS CONFIDENCE. AND IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T HAD A LOT OF EXPOSURE ONSTAGE. YOU HAVEN’T HAD A LOT OF TIME ONSTAGE. RIGHT. YEAH. BUT EVERY TIME YOU GET ONSTAGE, IT JUST HAPPENS. MMHMM. I KNOW THAT I WAS MEANT TO BE ON A STAGE AND PERFORMING,.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT I’M JUST GONNA GO FOR IT. I HAVE ONE LIFE TO LIVE, I’M GONNA GO FOR IT. WE DON’T HAVE A LOT OF TIME, AND WE DO HAVE TO WORK FAST. AND WE HAVE TO GET THIS RIGHT IF WE WANNA TAKE THE HOUSEWIFE AND TURN HER INTO THE PUSSYCAT DOLL. EXACTLY. EXACTLY. AND WE KNOW IT’S IN THERE. YEAH. WITH THAT SAID, WE NEED TO GO CHECK ON THE HOs. EXACTLY. laughs OKAY, SO WE’LL TAKE YOU TO YOUR COUCH.

OOH, I LIKE IT. I WANNA SEE THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS REHEARSE BECAUSE I REALLY KINDA WANNA GET A CLUE OF WHAT I’M GETTING MYSELF INTO. I’M DEFINITELY THINKING, UH, I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS THAT WHATWOW. dance music SO DO YOU THINK I CAN SING AND DANCE AND DO ALL THIS STUFF YEAH. DO YOU THINK I CAN LEARN IT IN ENOUGH TIME YEAH. I DON’T HAVE THOSE KIND OF LEGS. UM, YOU HAVE THOSE EXACT LEGS. NO, I DON’T. OH, MY GOD. THEIRS ARE TEN TIMES THINNER.

I GOTTA DO, LIKE, A MAJOR DIET. HOLY HELL, HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR ASSES THEY’RE, LIKE, SO PERFECT AND, LIKE, PLUMP AND PLUMPY. I’M AFRAID THAT IT’S GONNA BE REALLY HARD TO LEARN ALL THIS. WHY I FEEL LIKE BECAUSE WE’RE NOT GONNA HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO, LIKE, LEARN IT. YOU’LL BE FINE. THE LAST TIME I DANCE DANCED WAS 15 YEARS AGO IN HIGH SCHOOL WHEN I WAS IN CHEERLEADING. I DON’T THINK I CAN KICK MY LEG THAT HIGH ANYMORE. ARE YOU GUYS HAVING FUN.

Both YEAH. THESE GIRLS GOT GOOD VOICES. YEAH, RIGHT, SEE cheering I AM NOT FEELING GOOD ABOUT THIS AT ALL. vocalizes cheers THAT’S GONNA HURT MY NECK. YEAH. I’M PRETTY SURE I’M GONNA KILL SLADE FOR THIS. phone rings HELLO HI, TAM. HI, BABE, WHAT YOU DOING I JUST STEPPED OUTSIDE THE HOSPITAL. I WANTED TO JUST GIVE YOU A CALL AND UPDATE YOU ON BRIANA. IT WAS A REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY ROUGH DAY. WHEN HE OPENED HER UP, HE COULDN’T BELIEVE WHAT HE SAW.

HE SAID IT WAS TOTALLY, UM, A MESS. LIKE, HE SAID IT WAS THE UGLIEST THYROID THAT HE’S EVER SEEN. HOW’S SHE FEELING RIGHT NOW, RECOVERING SHE’S AT A PAIN LEVEL OF EIGHT OUT OF TEN, SO IT HURTS A LOT. UM, SHE CAN’T MOVE HER NECK AT ALL. IT’S HARD FOR HER TALK BECAUSE THE THE TUMOR WAS ON HER VOCAL CORDS. SO.SHE’S HURTING BAD. SO I’M JUST GONNA SLEEP HERE AND GO HOME AND SHOWER IN THE MORNING AND THEN COME BACK RIGHT AWAY AND JUST KIND OF DO MY THING BACK AND FORTH.

SO MY HOPE AND PRAYER IS THAT SHE’LL FEEL GOOD FROM NOW ON AND IT’S NOT CANCER AND LIFE WILL GO ON. IT’S REALLY BRINGS ME BACK DOWN TO WHAT’S IMPORTANT. MY WORLD IS STOPPING RIGHT NOW. YOU’RE GONNA BE OKAY. EVERYTHING’S GONNA BE OKAY. IT’LL BE OKAY. I’D GIVE MY LIFE TEN TIMES OVER IF I COULD HAVE MY DAUGHTER HEALTHY. I KIND OF FEEL LIKE THE WALLS ARE CAVING IN ON ME AND I’M MELTING. WE’LL KNOW FROM PATHOLOGY SOON. BUT HE SAID TO PREPARE FOR THE WORST, AND I’M.

JUST SCARED. COMING UP. NOW IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE A DORAG. snores SAY MAMA. MAMA. SAY MAMA. LET’S CALL TAMRA. CAN YOU SAY TAMRA phone rings HELLO TAMRA HEY, HEATHER. HEY, HOW ARE YOU GOOD, THANK YOU, HOW ARE YOU I’M GOOD. HEY, LISTEN, I KNOW YOU’RE REALLY BUSY. I JUST WANTED TO CALL AND INVITE YOU TO SOMETHING ON FRIDAY. ARE YOU FREE ON FRIDAY I’M FREE! I HAVE NO KIDS FOR FIVE DAYS. OH, WELL, FANTASTIC.

OKAY, SO LISTEN, I’M GOING UP TO L.A. VIA MY GIRLFRIEND’S HELICOPTER WITH TWO OF MY BEST FRIENDS AND BUSINESS PARTNERS IN THE RESTAURANT WE’RE OPENING AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SUPER FUN TO INVITE YOU AND VICKI TO COME ALONG WITH US AND, YOU KNOW cries OH, SORRY, COLLETTE’S FREAKING OUT. YOU GUYS CAN HANG OUT WHILE WE’RE DOING OUR MEETING, AND THEN WE COULD ALL HAVE LUNCH. I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO GET TO KNOW SOME OF MY GIRLFRIENDS AND THEM TO GET TO KNOW YOU.

AND THEN WE’RE ACTUALLY GONNA WAIT UP THERE FOR OUR HUSBANDS AND HAVE DINNER, BUT WE’LL SEND YOU BACK TO THE O.C. I WOULD LOVE TO! THAT’S, LIKE, SUPER EXCITING. IT’S SO HEATHER TO TAKE A HELICOPTER TO LOS ANGELES. YOU KNOW, DON’T WANNA SIT IN TRAFFIC. OKAY, FABULOUS. I’M SO GLAD YOU WANNA COME, THAT’S GREAT. SO I WILL SEE YOU THEN. IT’S LIKE SHE’S INVITING ME INTO HER FANCYPANTS WORLD. WE’LL SEE YOU AT THE AIRPORT, HON. OKAY, BYE. OKAY, BYE. OW. laughs.

SAY MAMA. DADA. NOT DADA. MAMA. OH, TRAITOR. SAY MAMA. DADA. OKAY. DO YOU WANNA TURN THE AIR ON IN YOUR HOUSE, OR DO YOU WANNA LEAVE IT OPEN OH, I DON’T KNOW. I FEEL VERY NERVOUS. IT IS, UH, KIND OF LIKE YOU’RE STANDING ON THE EDGE OF A CLIFF, IS HOW I’M FEELING RIGHT NOW, WAITING FOR THESE BIOPSY RESULTS. groans HERE, HONEY. I’LL PUT ANOTHER ONE HERE FOR, LIKE, TO HOLD YOU. LIKE WHAT LIKE THIS IT’S OKAY, THESE ONES ARE FINE.

OKAY, OKAY, I’M GONNA GO GET SOME WATER FOR YOU, FRESH WATER. I GOT WATER. OKAY, SO DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE ANY PRESCRIPTIONS NOW NO. DO YOU WANNA JUST LEAVE THEM IN THE BAG LIKE THIS, OR DO YOU WANT ME TO GET A LITTLE BUCKET FOR YOU JUST LEAVE IT. DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO TAKE THEM ALL YEAH. YOU KNOW HOW TO DO ALL THIS I’M GONNA MAKE YOU CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP. IS THERE ANY OTHER SOUP YOU WANT.

I’LL MAKE A BIG BATCH OF IT, AND YOU CAN FREEZE IT. BRIANA HAS DECIDED TO RECOVER AT HER PLACE. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO UHUH. I JUST WANNA SLEEP FOR A BIT. I’M DEFINITELY TAKING IT PERSONALLY, BUT I REALIZE THAT SHE’S ON A LOT OF MEDICATION, AND SHE HURTS, AND ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS SLEEP. BRIANA, I GOT YOU THIS PROTEIN THING. DO YOU THINK THAT SOUNDS GOOD SURE. OKAY, I’M GOING TO LINE UP ALL YOUR STUFF. OKAY, SO WHERE’S YOUR PHONE, SO YOU CAN PUT IT RIGHT BY YOU.

SO CALL ME IF YOU’RE, LIKE, FEELING ACHY OR WEIRD. I’LL BE HERE IN, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES. I LOVE MY MOM, SHE’S VERY HELPFUL AND VERY LOVING, BUT THERE’S SOME POINTS WHERE I WANNA TELL HER TO JUST GET OUT. SHE’S A LITTLE INTENSE. DO YOU WANT THIS FAN ON MMHMM. OKAY. YOU’RE HOME. HEY! YOU SURE YOU DON’T WANNA GO TO OUR HOUSE OKAY. MY BABY. PEW, YOU SMELL. WELL, I DIDN’T TAKE A SHOWER IN FIVE DAYS. I’LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE BIT.

WAIT, HOW DO YOU TURN THAT FAN ON groans HOW’S IT GOING, BABE IT’S JUST AMAZING HOW MUCH PAIN YOU JUST DON’T THINK IT’S GONNA BE THAT PAINFUL. I’M HANGING IN THERE. I WANT THE PEAS BACK ON MY EYES TO TAKE THE SWELLING DOWN. CAN YOU FEEL IT YEAH, THANK YOU. WE’RE GONNA TRY AND EAT SOME MORE SOUP, OKAY YES, I GUESS, OKAY. DO YOU WANNA EAT A CARROT NO, I DON’T WANT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. BUT YOU NEED TO TRY.

IDID YOU SEE HOW MANY NOODLES I ATE YEAH, BUT DO YOU WANNA BE NAUSEOUS OR DO YOU WANNA FEEL GOOD WELL I THINK IDID I NOT EAT ENOUGH TO NOT FEEL NAUSEOUS OKAY, HERE COMES A CARROT. THAT WAS GOOD. ISN’T THAT DELICIOUS I HOMEMADE THIS. THANKS, BABY, IT WAS A LONG TIME OF COOKING THEN, HUH A LOT OF CUTTING. DID YOU EXPLAIN TO THE KIDS THAT MOMMY FEELS FINE, EVERYTHING’S GREAT, BUT THAT THERE IS IT’S DEFINITELY THEY’RE GONNA FREAK OUT.

IT’S NOT JUST A CAST. WE’LL JUST TELL THE KIDS THAT MOMMY’S WEARING DINNER ON HER EYES. chuckles JIM’S MY KING, AND MY HUSBAND TREATS ME LIKE A QUEEN. HE JUST LOVES ME. NOW IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE A DORAG. chuckles groans ALL RIGHT, GET SOME SLEEP. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU TOO. TODAY YOU’RE GONNA GO IN AND OUT OF SLEEP. AND THEN AFTER THAT, TOMORROW YOU SHOULD BE DOING A LOT BETTER. snoring THANK YOU SO MUCH.

HI, COLLIN. HOW ARE YOU GOOD TO SEE YOU. WELL, HI, LADIES, WELCOME. HI! THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN. HI, VICKI. WE’RE GOING UP IN STYLE, RIGHT OH, YEAH, ALWAYS. HI, DOLL. I’M SURE IT’S CRAZY HARD TO OPEN A RESTAURANT. I’M NOT PRETENDING THAT IT’S GOING TO BE EASY. OH, DEAR, HIGH HEELS AND ALL. laughs I KNOW. SO, WE’RE GONNA GO UP TO L.A. AND TALK TO THE OWNER OF PORTA VIA, WHICH IS A FABULOUS AND VERY, VERY SUCCESSFUL RESTAURANT IN BEVERLY HILLS.

THERE’S NO GRACEFUL WAY TO GET IN, HUH NO, JUST GRAB A HOLD OF THE HANDLE THERE. WE WON’T LOOK, IT’S OKAY. IS EVERYBODY HAPPY WITH THIS WE’RE HAPPY. VERY GOOD, THANKS, COLLIN. GOOD. TURN THE AIR CONDITIONING ON. LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED. LET’S GET IT GOING, BABY. AWESOME, I WANT A HELICOPTER. VICKI IS OBVIOUSLY A VERY SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS PERSON. AND MAYBE SHE MIGHT HAVE A GREAT QUESTION OR TWO THAT WE MIGHT NOT HAVE THOUGHT OF. AND YOU CAN SEE DOWNTOWN JUST IN THE DISTANCE THERE.

OH, YEAH. WE’RE JUST GONNA PASS IT. DOWNTOWN WILL BE ON OUR LEFT AS WE GO THROUGH. IT IS AMAZING HOW MUCH YOU CAN SEE. OH, YEAH. I WANT A HELICOPTER. OBVIOUSLY, HEATHER HAS FRIENDS WITH A LOT OF MONEY. I DON’T KNOW ANYBODY THAT HAS A HELICOPTER TO GO TO WORK. HOWEVER, IT DOESN’T MEAN I WOULDN’T WANT ONE. YEAH, ABSOLUTELY I’D WANT ONE. ALL RIGHT, COMING IN FOR THE LANDING, PEOPLE. HI, GIRLS. HOW ARE YOU GOOD TO SEE YOU, GORGEOUS.

HI, HOW ARE YOU JACKIE, THIS IS VICKI. HI, VICKI, I’M JACKIE. AND THIS IS TAMRA. HI, IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU. WHAT’S YOUR NAME JACKIE. JACKIE. THANKS FOR TAKING US. THANKS FOR SENDING IN THE CHOPPER BACK FOR US. HI. THIS IS VICKI. NICE TO MEET YOU. TAMRA, THIS IS JAYE. IS THAT YOUR CHOPPER THAT WE WERE ON THANK YOU, THAT WAS FUN. YES. WE READY READY TO GO WE READY TO GO LET’S DO IT.

OKAY, GALS. JAYE, WHAT A FABULOUS RIDE. THAT IS DEFINITELY THE WAY TO TRAVEL. MY KIDS THINK EVERYONE HAS ONE. WE TOOK A TRIP ONCE, AND WE FLEW OVER NICK’SOUR FRIEND’S AND THEY WERE STUCK IN TRAFFIC, AND THEY WERE LIKE, MOMMY, WHY DIDN’T THEY TAKE THEIR HELICOPTER sycophantic laugh SHUT THE bleep UP. ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW THEY’LL FIGURE IT OUT. I’M REALLY GLAD THAT YOU GUYS COULD COME TODAY. I’VE TOLD YOU THAT WE’RE OPENING THIS RESTAURANT, AND THERE’S ALL THREE OF YOU THERE’S ACTUALLY SIX OF US.

MY FIRST THOUGHT IN ALL THIS IS, SIX WOMEN YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD AGREEMENT IN PLACE. SIX WOMEN IN BUSINESS TOGETHER IS GONNA BE A CHALLENGE. THE GOOD NIT IS, AND WE UNDERSTAND. THE GOOD NEWS IS WE’RE REALLY ALL BEST FRIENDS. WE’RE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS, ACTUALLY. TALK TO ME IN FIVE YEARS. AND OUR HUSBANDS ARE ALL BEST FRIENDS. WHEN I HEAR SIX FRIENDS ARE GOING INTO BUSINESS WITHOUT A WRITTEN AGREEMENT, I SAY, RUN! EVERYBODY JUST RUN, JUST BE FRIENDS. GET OUT OF THIS RIGHT NOW.

JUST PRETEND YOU’RE DOING IT, AND DON’T REALLY DO IT. YOU’RE ALL GONNA HATE EACH OTHER IN ABOUT A YEAR. IF WE CAN PULL THIS OFF, OUR HUSBANDS WILL BE BLOWN AWAY, AND SO WILL WE. WE’RE GOING INTO IT WITH OPEN EYES, KNOWING THAT THERE’S GONNA BE ISSUES. WE’VE ALL KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR YEARS. GOOD. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ALL WHAT YOU WANT. SO IT’S, LIKE, A VERY TIGHT GROUP. AND EVEN WHEN YOU GET INTO A NORMAL GIRL CONFLICT IT’S A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP. IT IS.

All laugh WHAT A CONCEPT. THAT’S WHAT I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU, DARLING. THESE THINGS DO EXIST. WE LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH, AND WE’RE ALL IF WE DO HAVE A PROBLEM WE TALK ABOUT IT. WE TALK ABOUT IT. I’LL COME FORWARD AND I’LL SAY, OKAY, YOU REALLY HURT MY FEELINGS WHEN YOU DID THIS. I DON’T BELIEVE IT. IT’S A CROCK OF bleep. SORRY. WE TALK ABOUT IF THERE’S ISSUES. IT’S FABULOUS, I’M PROUD OF ALL OF YOU. YOU DON’T THROW WINE. I’M EXCITED.

WE DON’T THROW WINE. laughs NO. COMING UP. THIS SOUNDS SCARY TO ME. DOES IT SOUND SCARY TO YOU AND, LIKE, 95 OF RESTAURANTS DO NOT SUCCEED. YOU GUYS BOTH HAVE LEATHER SKIRTS ON, DON’T YOU OKAY, HI. HEY. HOW ARE YOU NICE TO SEE YOU. HI, HOW ARE YOU I’M VICKI. I’M PETER. NICE TO MEET YOU. HI. TAMRA. NICE TO MEET YOU. NICE TO SEE YOU. PETER. IT’S INCREDIBLY NICE OF PETER TO BE GIVING US ALL OF THIS.

WONDERFUL ADVICE FOR FREE. SO NICE TO SEE YOU. YEAH, COME ON IN. I’M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING VERY SPECIFIC DETAILS ABOUT OPERATIONS AND HIRING PEOPLE. WELL, ANYWAYS, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PLAN. I GUESS WHAT WE WANTED TO KNOW FROM YOU IS, WHAT ARE THE FIRST IMPORTANT STEPS YOU GUYS OBVIOUSLY HAVE TO GET TOGETHER AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU’RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE AS FAR AS WHAT RESPONSIBILITIES WOULD BE OR WHAT THE REAL EXPECTATIONS ARE. SO I WOULD SUGGEST YOU HAVE THAT CONVERSATION.

MAYBE PUT IT IN WRITING. THAT’S FUNNY, THAT’S WHAT VICKI WAS JUST SAYING. IN THE CAR, SHE WAS SAYING THAT TOO. YES, YOU NEED A WRITTEN AGREEMENT. CHECK FOR VICKI. MY QUESTION IS, WHEN IT COMES TO THE NITTYGRITTY OF REALLY HIRING PEOPLE AND DEALING WITH PERMITS, WHO SPEARHEADS THIS IT’S A BUSINESS NEVERTHELESS. YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO HIRE A CONSULTANT OR PERHAPS PARTNER UP WITH, YOU KNOW, A RESTAURANT PERSON. YEAH. SOMEBODY WHO REALLY UNDERSTANDS YOUR VISION, THE TYPE OF CUISINE, THE TYPE OF SERVICE,.

YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE VIBE OF THE PLACE. YOU WOULD HIRE, OBVIOUSLY, A GENERAL CONTRACTOR, DESIGNER, MAKE SURE THAT IS ALL PUT TOGETHER, AND THEN WORK WITH THE CHEF ON THE MENU. YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE TO OFFER GOOD SERVICE. THE COST OF A GENERAL MANAGER STARTS AT $65,000 AND COULD BE $95,000. SAME THING WITH THE CHEF. WELL, IT’S VERY SCARY IN THESE ECONOMIC TIMES TO BE OPENING UP A RESTAURANT. NONE OF THEM HAVE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE. BUT I REALLY THINK IT’S THEY WANT A CLUBHOUSE TO SPEND THEIR HUSBANDS’ MONEY.

AND IT’S KIND OF A RECIPE FOR DISASTER TO ME. YOU HAVE ALL THOSE FIXED COSTS. YOU CAN’T CUT A CHEF, YOU KNOW NO. UNLESS WE PUT NANCY IN THE KITCHEN. NANCY’S IN THE KITCHEN, I’LL BE THE BUSBOY. YOU CAN DO THE TABLES. I CAN SEE IT NOW. YOU’RE GONNA BE THE HOSTESS. I THINK GOING INTO ANY NEW BUSINESS VENTURE IS SCARY. I’M SURE THAT VICKI WAS SCARED WHEN SHE OPENED HER INSURANCE COMPANY. BUT WE’RE EXCITED ABOUT IT, AND I’D KIND OF LIKE.

TO FOCUS ON THAT POSITIVE ASPECT. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA DO ALL THIS NO, I THINK WE SHOULD JUST EAT AT RESTAURANTS. all laugh CAN’T SLEEP AT ALL, EVEN ON AMBIEN. YOU GOT SICK NO, I JUST DIDN’T SLEEP. EVEN THE SLEEPING PILL DIDN’T HELP NO. OH, BUMMER. BUT I’M JUST LAYING AROUND. I’M NOT DOING MUCH. I’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED THAT GRETCHEN HASN’T BEEN BY TO SEE ME YET. SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND, AND SHE SHOULD HAVE COME AND VISITED ME ON THE DAY OF MY SURGERY.

HOW IS THE PAIN IT’S VERY CI MEAN, I HAVE TO TAKE IT EVERY FOUR HOURS ON THE DOT. I TRY TO MISS A LITTLE BIT, IT’S, LIKE, RIGHT AT FOUR HOURS, I START, LIKE. THROBBING. THROBBING, YEAH. I THINK IF IT HAD BEEN LAST YEAR, AND TAMRA AND GRETCHEN WEREN’T TALKING, I THINK GRETCHEN WOULD HAVE BEEN AT MY DOOR RIGHT AWAY. WELL, YOU’RE GONNA BE SURPRISED AT WHAT WE FOUND IN THERE. OKAY, NOW THIS IS HERE’S THE EXAMPLE. THIS IS WHAT WE PULLED OUT OF THERE.

OH, MY GOSH, THAT’S SO DISGUSTING. THIS IS THE STUFF THAT I PULL OUT OF MY THROAT IN THE MORNING. THISYEAH, IT’S CALLED A MUCOUS PLUG. UGH. IT’S, LIKE, SNOT AND BOOGER. AND WHERE DOES THAT COME FROM WELL, MOST PEOPLE DON’T HAVE IT STUCK IN THEIR SINUS. YOU HAD IT STUCK IN YOUR SINUS. AND THAT SINUS IS ABOUT THIS BIG. WHICH IS WHY I LOOK LIKE THAT. WHICH IS WHY MY EYE LOOKS LIKE THAT. LIKE YOU BEATYOU BEAT THE HECK OUT OF ME.

Sighs THANK GOD IT’S OVER. OKAY, LET’S TAKE A PEEK. I’M GONNA TAKE THIS OFF AND PUT A NEW ONE ON. IT’STHIS IS PRETTY DRY TOO. HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THAT ON I PUT THIS ONI TOOK THIS OFF AT 800. I PUT A NEW ONE ON THIS MORNING AT 800. OUCH. LET ME JUST SEE, NOW YOU’RE NOT GONNA LIKE THIS PART. OH, PLEASE DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING. NO, I HAVE TO. ‘CAUSE THIS IS THE SIDE THAT WAS SWOLLEN A LITTLE MORE. OW, OW! OKAY, PERFECT.

PERFECT, PERFECT. DONE. OVER. OVER. WHEN, UH, WHEN IS THIS ALL GONNA GO DOWN THAT GOES AWAY WITHIN A WEEK. REALLY YOU’LL BE SURPRISED. I MEAN, YOU’LL BE BRUISED, BUT YOU’LL PUT MAKEUP ON THERE, AND YOU’LL LOOK PERFECT. QUESTIONS ASK ME ANYTHING. YES, I WROTE QUESTIONS DOWN. DID YOU HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES WHAT WE HAD ALREADY TALKED ABOUT SHRINKING THE TURBINATE, DEVIATED SEPTUM, AND TENOTOMY. OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, I STRAIGHTENED THE SEPTUM. I TOOK THE FILTERING SYSTEM OUT, WHICH IS THE TURBINATES.

AND THEN WE DID THE COSMETIC PART. WE SEWED THE TIP TOGETHER, FILED DOWN THE DORSUM THE LITTLE HUMP, NARROWED IT, AND I TOLD YOU NOT TO NARROW IT. I DON’T WANT IT TO LOOK LIKE MY NOSE GOT DONE THOUGH. IT WON’T LOOK LIKE YOU HAD IT DONE. OKAY. ARE YOU GONNA PUT THAT LITTLE THING BACK ON LOOKING GOOD IN ORANGE COUNTY, IT’S DEFINITELY PART OF THE CULTURE. AND I HOPE THAT GETTING THE BUMP FIXED IN MY NOSE IS GONNA HELP MY APPEARANCE ON FOX 5 NEWS.

LIKE, WHEN YOU’RE HOME, JUST TAKE THAT OFF. I LIKE IT ON. LEAVE IT ON FOR THREE DAYS. laughs I’M A WEIRDO, I LIKE IT ON. I LIKE MY SUNGLASSES ON, I LIKE THE LIGHTS OFF, AND MY ICE ON MY HEAD. ALL RIGHT. YOU’LL FEEL 100 TIMES BETTER. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. I’M GONNA LOOK SO MUCH BETTER. PRAISE THE LORD. VICKI, WHY DON’T YOU SIT HERE NOW, ARE YOU GIRLS SURE YOU’RE WANNA DO THIS WANNA DO THIS.

HONESTLY, WE REALLY I THINK WE’RE MORE LOOKING FOR A PLACE THAT WE CAN GO SPEND TIME TOGETHER. RIGHT, I THINK IT’S FUN, JUST EVEN THE PROCESS THAT WE’RE GOING THROUGH. SO WE’LL SEE. IT’LL BE A FUN ADVENTURE. IT’LL BE A FUN JOURNEY. WHAT YOU GOT THERE, FRIEND OKAY, SO WE HAVE A BOTTLE OF CRISTAL FOR YOU GUYS. OH, WELL, THAT IS THAT’S GREAT. YOU MADE THIS TRIP ALL THE WAY TO BEVERLY HILLS. CLASS ACT. THANK YOU. I LOVE THAT. THANK YOU FOR HAVING US.

Cork pops WHOOHOO! THAT’S ONE OF THE TOP FIVE SOUNDS OF ALL TIME, ISN’T IT YEAH, ISN’T IT THANK YOU. laughs CHEERS. CHEERS, CHEERS. LET’S SHOW THEM HOW WE WE SEND IT AROUND THE TABLE. SO HERE’S HOW WE DO IT, AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE EYE CONTACT. YOU HAVE TO MAKE EYE CONTACT, OR IT DOESN’T MEAN I THOUGHT IT WAS IF YOU DIDN’T MAKE EYE CONTACT, YOU HAD BAD SEX. YEAH. THAT’S AN OLD SAYING. OKAY, SO CHEERS. CHEERS.

HEATHER’S FRIENDS ARE REALLY NICE. THEY SEEM TO BE HONEST. THEY ALL GET ALONG, THERE’S NO STABBING IN THE BACK. LIKE, WHO KNEW THIS ACTUALLY EXISTED NOW IS THIS A PASSION OF YOUR GUYS’ TO HAVE A RESTAURANT BECAUSE I’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE VERY COOL. I THINK IT JUST CAMEI THINK IT CAME UP VERY ORGANICALLY. I MEAN, TRULY, THERE’S NEVER A COOL PLACE TO GO. EVERYTHING BY US IS A CHAIN. I KNOW. I MEAN, IT SOUNDS EXCITING BECAUSE I KNOW WE NEED IT,.

BUT I’M STILL SCARED. I KNOW, A LOT OF WORK AND ALL OF US HAVE KIDS. AND, LIKE, 95 OF RESTAURANTS DO NOT SUCCEED. I DON’T THINK THESE GIRLS KNOW WHAT THEY’RE IN FOR. THERE’S A LOT OF BASICS THAT HAVE TO BE DONE. YOU HAVE TO HAVE A BUSINESS PLAN. YOU HAVE TO HAVE A BUYSELL AGREEMENT. YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE VENUE, AND THERE’S A LOT THAT’S GOING TO BE ENTAILED. I THINK IT’S A GREAT CONCEPT AND IDEA, IT JUST SEEMS SO AND DAUNTING, RAISING CHILDREN AND DOING, YOU KNOW.

SCARY. AND YOU GOTTA HIRE, LIKE HE SAID, SOMEBODY THAT’S GONNA HELP YOU. THAT’S WHY WE’LL HAVE THREE PEOPLE IT IS A LOT OF WORK, BUT, YOU KNOW, I’VE COME FROM A PLACE OF BEING ON THE SET FOR 15, 17 HOURS A DAY. YEAH, I MEAN, WORK HARD WORK IS NOT THIS IS SOMETHING I COULD DO WHILE THE KIDS ARE AT SCHOOL. I WORK HARD TOO. AND YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR KIDS NOW. AND HARD WORK IS NOT A PROBLEM.

I MEAN, I BELIEVE IN HARD WORK. MMHMM. YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR HAND OUT IF YOU DON’T WANNA GET DIRTY, YOU KNOW I KNOW THAT VICKI IS GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE, AND HER DAUGHTER’S HAVING HEALTH ISSUES. I THINK MAYBE SHE’S SPEAKING FROM THAT PERSPECTIVE WHEN SHE’S BEING NEGATIVE ABOUT THE RESTAURANT. THIS SOUNDS SCARY TO ME. DOES IT SOUND SCARY TO YOU BUT, QUITE FRANKLY, I JUST WANNA SHUT IT DOWN. phone rings OH, BROOKS IS CALLING. I ALWAYS SA OOH, I’LL BE STEPPING RIGHT OUT.

HI, HONEY. AWW. HI, HONEY. HI, HONEY. WE ARE HAVING LUNCH IN L.A. WOW, IT SEEMS TO ME LATELY THAT AS SOON AS BROOKS SAYS JUMP, VICKI ASKS, HOW HIGH BEFORE HE EVEN GETS IT OUT OF HIS MOUTH. I THOUGHT IT WAS KINDA RUDE THAT SHE HAD TO JUMP UP, LEAVE THE TABLE, AND GO TAKE HIS CALL OUTSIDE. HONEY, I WANNA BUY A HELICOPTER. IT’D BE SO FUN, WE CAN GO RIGHT TO MISSISSIPPI, PICK UP YOUR KIDS, BRING THEM RIGHT TO CALIFORNIA. MY KIDS CAN GO TO MISSISSIPPI.

WE’LL HAVE, LIKE, THIS WHOLE BIG JOURNEY JUST BY FLYING. SHE’S DEALING WITH A LOT, LOT, LOT, LOT, LOT. COULD YOU IMAGINE SUFFERING ABOUT YOUR CHILD LIKE THAT NO. FOR THAT MANY DAYS OH, MY GOSH. GOT A LOT ON HER PLATE. BRIANA’S DOING GOOD. SHE’S SLEEPING, AND I’M GONNA HEAD HOME AND MAKE HER SOME FOOD. WHAT IS SHE DOING WAIT, HOW MANY DAYS IS IT TILL I GET TO SEE YOU YOUR LADY NEEDS HER LOVE TANK FILLED UP. laughs IT’S BEEN REALLY HARD.

NOT TO HAVE BROOKS IN TOWN WHILE BRIANA HAS BEEN SO SICK. I WISH HE DIDN’T LIVE SO FAR AWAY. IS EVERYTHING OKAY WITH BROOKS EVERYTHING’S PERFECT. OH, GOOD. OH. THIS IS FABULOUS. WELL, I LOOK FORWARD TO COMING DOWN TO ORANGE COUNTY AND YES, WE NEED YOUR HELP. WE NEED YOU IN ORANGE COUNTY. AND CHECKING OUT YOUR, YOU KNOW, YOUR SPOT. IF IT’S NOT FOGGY, WE’LL SEND THE CHOPPER. YEAH, OF COURSE. SEND THE HELICOPTER. THANK YOU. THANKS.

I’M A HELICOPTER SNOB. I NEED TO GO IN THE HELICOPTER. VICKI HAS BEEN RUINED. SHE NEEDS THE HELICOPTER. all laugh COMING UP. I SIGN MY DIVORCE PAPERS ON MY MOM’S BIRTHDAY. YOU THINK ABOUT MARRIAGE, tears up YOUR KIDS, AND WHEN YOU SIGN IT, IT’S ALL OVER. IT’S ALL DONE. CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS MADNESS ‘CAUSE WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE BABY, I’M TIRED, AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I’M NOT MAKING GOOD FOOD RIGHT NOW. YOU GO SIT OVER THERE.

DO YOU WANT WINE NO. OH, MY GOD! MY HAIR’S ON FIRE. OH, MY GOD, SLADE. gasps BABY DID I JUST SERIOUSLY JUST BURN MY HAIR OFF YOU BURNED THE bleep OUT OF YOUR HAIR. ARE YOU bleep KIDDING ME! IT FELT LIKE MY ENTIRE HEAD LIT UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE. IT’LL BE FINE, YOU HAVE A LOT OF IT. laughs IT’LL GROW BACK. AND IT JUST GOES TO SHOW HOW TIRED AND EXHAUSTED I AM. I’M JUST A MESS. I’M A HOT MESS AT THIS MOMENT.

WHAT IF MY WHOLE HEAD LIT UP I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST LIT YOUR bleep ON FIRE. OKAY, GALS. LET’S FIND YOUR LIMO. FIND YOUR LIMO. WE’RE GONNA GO FIND A RIDE HOME. DON’T WORRY ABOUT US. DON’T HITCHHIKE DOWN TO THE O.C. BYE. GOOD TO SEE YOU. I GUESS IT’S OUR TIME TO GET IN THE LIMO INSTEAD OF THE HELICOPTER. laughs WHOO, YEAH. IT WAS SO NICE TO BE AROUND A GROUP OF GIRLS THAT SUPPORTED EACH OTHER, DIDN’TPOSITIVELY,.

AND DID NOT BASH EACH OTHER. THEY LIKED EACH OTHER. YOU KNOW, NO, THAT’S HOW LIFE NORMALLY IS. YOU DON’T HURT EACH OTHER. RIGHT. I GUESS I WAS RAISED DIFFERENT. LIKE, GRETCHEN AND SLADE, THEY THEY MUST HAVE JUSTIT’S ALL ABOUT THEM OR SOMETHING. I DON’T I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT. LIKE, WHY WOULD PEOPLE GO OUT TO, LIKE, HURT PEOPLE I DID GET UPSET WITH GRETCHEN BECAUSE SHE PUSHED A BUTTON CORRELATING ME THE SAME AS SLADE AND. I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA HIT YOU. LIKE, SHE WAS SO RAGE.

MY BOYFRIEND IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! OH, REALLY REALLY THAT’S FUNNY BECAUSE SLADE WAS NONE OF YOUR bleep BUSINESS EITHER! I WALKED AWAY FROM THERE GOING, WHAT JUST HAPPENED AND HOW DID THIS HAPPEN ANDAND RIGHT. I LOOK AT LIFE REALLY DIFFERENT NOW THAT BRIANA MIGHT HAVE CANCER. WHAT IT DOES TO MY PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE, BASICALLY, IS IT JUST SAYS REALLY NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. I’M JUST TAKING IT AS A GRAIN OF SALT, AND I’M NOT I’M NOT GONNA ENGAGE IN MORE DRAMA.

THEY GOT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS TO WORRY ABOUT THINGS THAT AREN’T IMPORTANT. NOBODY KNOWS IF THIS IS OUR LAST DAY ON EARTH OR NOT, AND I WOULD HATE TO HAVE THIS BE MY LAST DAY ON EARTH THE DAY THAT I GOT IN A FIGHT WITH SLADE AND GRETCHEN. WAIT, WHAT DID I GET I GOT A EMAIL. MY ATTORNEY. I SIGN MY DIVORCE PAPERS ON MY MOM’S BIRTHDAY. MY MARRIAGE IS ALMOST OVER. I’LL BE SIGNING MY DIVORCE PAPERS NEXT WEEK, AND IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING.

BUT YET, NOW I’M LIKE, OH, bleep. LIKE, HERE WE GO. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT MARRIAGE. YOUR BABIES. tears up YOUR KIDS. I KNOW. YOUR LIFE, YOUR WEDDING DAY. AND WHEN YOU SIGN IT, IT’S ALL OVER. IT’S ALL DONE. I THINK WHETHER YOUR MARRIAGE WORKS OR IT DOESN’T WORK, IT’S SAD TO WALK AWAY FROM SOMETHING. UM, YOU FEEL LIKE A FAILURE. I’VE BEEN WITH SIMON FOR 15 YEARS. THAT’S A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE, AND TO KNOW THAT IT’S ALL OVER BY SIGNING THESE PAPERS IS IT’S DIFFICULT.

IT’S HARD WHEN YOU HAVE LITTLE KIDS, TO NOT TAKE ALL THE BLAME AS A PARENT BECAUSE YOU’RE DEVASTATING THEIR LIVES. I JUST FEEL LIKE A FAILURE AS A MOTHER. I KNOW, I KNOW. IT JUST SUCKS SO BAD. I KNOW. NEXT ONltigt THE REAL HOUSEWIVESltigt ltigt OF ORANGE COUNTY.ltigt I AM GONNA CALL TAMRA WHEN I FEEL BETTER AND I’M GONNA BE LIKE, I WANNA KNOW WHAT I’VE EVER DONE TO YOU THAT YOU WANNA BE SO BLATANTLY MEAN. I JUST DON’T WANNA BE PUT IN THE MIDDLE.

DO YOU HAVE SNIFFING SALTS WE NEED TO TAKE HER CAST OFF NOW. OH, DON’T PULL, DON’T PULL, DON’T PULL, DON’T PULL. I’M SO SCARED. yelps I DON’T WANT A LITTLE SKINNY NOSE. I WANT MY NORMAL NOSE. OH, bleep, I THINK I HURT MY ANKLE. ARE YOU OKAY OW. SO THIS IS THE DOCUMENT THAT’S GOING TO DISSOLVE YOUR MARRIAGE. HI, MOM. I’VE GOT SOME BIG NEWS. OKAY. I’M JUST, UH, HOPEFUL THERE’S NO CANCER. TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,.

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